Humankind is mortal. We are born, we flop around and make noise for a while, and then, inevitably, we die. That is perhaps the lesson that the diabolical makers of slippery stairs were trying to teach to their audience. I realize that asking someone to watch a nine-minute video is demanding a lot, but I hope you will trust me that I would not do this if I did not think it was important. I promise that you will be enraptured by the trials of all these little Sisyphus cosplayers. There’s so much to like here; the delight with which the hosts watch these poor fuckers turn into runaway sleds; the contrast between the intense pounding music that plays when someone reaches the second staircase and the Mario Party-ass “Boink!” sound when they careen into their fellow competitors; the amount of times someone gets right to the top only to let up for a half-second and take the long tumble to the ground or be tackled by a vengeful rival. There are no gimmicks to get a competitor through the slippery stair gauntlet. You can’t, say, run up it really fast—you’ll just get more owned. You can’t go up backwards, because you won’t have the leverage to hoist yourself up. The only way up is directly, scrabbling on your limbs like some kind of moist Hell Frog. This is truly the best Japanese game show stunt, and it needs to be imported stateside by some enterprising TV exec immediately.
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Verdict: Both teams to score – yes
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Serie A leaders Napoli face a tough test to their title credentials as they prepare to host the top-four contenders Napoli in arguably one of the most interesting matches in Italy this week.
Napoli
Following a couple of seasons’ worth of flirting with the Scudetto, Serie A hot-shots Napoli finally have a great chance to lift the coveted trophy they last won 28 years ago with legendary Diego Armando Maradona in the driving seat.
It’s been more than what Napoli fans hoped for since Serie A title last arrived in this southern Italian city but Maurizio Sarri and his high-flying side finally look like a unit capable of succeeding this year. Partenopei have gone through a steady progress…
High-profile Orlando City signing Kaka revealed discussions regarding his transfer to the MLS expansion franchise started in 2012.
Kaka triggered a clause in his Milan contract allowing him to leave the Serie A outfit should they fail to qualify for the UEFA Champions League to join Orlando as the team s designated player ahead of their inception in 2015.
The Brazil midfielder, who will spend six months with boyhood club Sao Paulo on loan before joining Orlando in January, had been constantly linked with a move to the United States, with the Los Angeles Galaxy first mentioned as a possible destination two years ago.
Speaking at his official unveiling on Tuesday, Kaka said his move to Orlando had been two years in the making after entering talks with owner Flavio …
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has been linked with a double raid on his old club Swansea City, .
The Northern Irishman is considering moves for Ben Davies and Wilfried Bony as he continues to rebuild his squad for the forthcoming season.
Davies has been a regular starter for the South Wales side since breaking into the first team at the beginning of the 2012/13 campaign, notching up eighty-four appearances in all competitions in two years.
Bony moved to the Liberty Stadium last summer, and scored an impressive twenty-five goals in forty-eight games, sixteen of which came in the Premier League.
The Reds have already brought in Adam Lallana and Rickie Lambert from Southampton and Emre Can from Bayer Leverkusen, with a number of other high profile p…
Chelsea star Michael Ballack will remain as Germany captain despite his criticism of Joachim Loew, the national coach Loew announced.
Ballack had flown from London to Frankfurt on Thursday to apologise directly to Loew for a newspaper interview last week in which he said the coach should show his senior players more loyalty and respect after veteran midfielder Torsten Frings was dropped.
Ballack, 32, apologised last weekend in a press release, but Loew insisted the Chelsea midfielder fly to the German Football Federation (DFB) offices in Frankfurt to meet face-to-face on Thursday and explain his comments.
Munich newspaper Abendzeitung claimed on Thursday that Ballack was set to resign as Germany captain, but remain in the team with Bayern Munich defender Phil…
Patrick Kluivert has urged Barcelona to sign either Goncalo Ramos or Roberto Firmino at the end of the season.
Barca are on course to be crowned LaLiga champions after a big recruitment drive that saw them bring in the likes of Robert Lewandowski and Raphinha.
Lewandowski has scored 25 goals in his first season with the Blaugrana, leading the line superbly and demonstrating the sort of clinical finishing that has made him one of the best strikers in the world.
Former Barca striker Kluivert wants the Catalan giants to add more firepower by landing Benfica striker Ramos or long-serving Liverpool frontman Firmino, who will leave Anfield when his contract expires at the end of the season.
The ex-Netherlands international told the Barca Blaugranes portal: Fina…
Joshua Kimmich said remaining with Bayern Munich is a far more attractive option than making a switch to the Premier League.
Kimmich, 21, has reportedly attracted interest from several English clubs after impressing for Bayern in 2015-16.
The midfielder made the move to the Bavarian club at the start of last season, moving from RB Leipzig, and featured in 36 appearances across all competitions.
He was even called into the Germany national team for their Euro 2016 campaign, starting four games as the side crashed out in the semi-finals against hosts France.
But ahead of the new season, Kimmich insists his immediate future remains in the Bundesliga.
Making a major contribution to Bayern is more important to me than a transfer abroad, Kimmic…
Hartlepool fullback Carl Magnay hit an absolute rocket of a shot in his team’s win over Barrow.
Without a goal since August 2016, Magnay took a pop at goal from 40 yards out and scored a brilliant wonder goal to earn his team vital three points in National League relegation struggle.
TV cameras were there to capture this moment of brilliance which definitely deserves to be considered as Goal of the Season contender!
Have a look.
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Jose Mourinho said the chance to challenge Barcelona was a driving force in him joining Real Madrid in 2010.
The flamboyant coach feels that La Liga is arguably the best competition in the world when it comes to the top teams, and believes the rivalry between both clubs is pushing them to new heights.
We are talking about Barcelona and Real Madrid, two great teams. Pick any other team in the world, and they would not finish in the top two in La Liga, Mourinho told AS.
And that s exactly why I joined Real Madrid. Because it s not easy to challenge Barcelona. It s very hard to be successful in this competition.
Life s much easier in any other league. Any league where you are not locking horns with Barcelona is easier. Barca are the main reason why Madri…
Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois has confirmed that he will return to Atletico Madrid on loan next season, .
The Belgium international has spent the last two years at the Vincente Calderon, winning the Europa League in 2011/2012, before helping Atletico to qualify for the Champions League by clinching third place in La Liga last season.
The 21 year old was named the divisions goalkeeper of the season after conceding just 29 goals in 37 appearances.
Courtois was also a stand out performer in their victorious Copa Del Rey campaign, which culminated in an extra-time victory over city rivals Real in the final at the Bernabeu last month.
The former Genk shot-stopper has yet to make an appearance for his parent club, largely due to the consistent form o…
Prediction: Alvaro Morata to score 2 or more goals
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Cyprus and Spain will lock horns with each other in UEFA Euro 2024 qualifying Group A this week. The match between Temur Ketsbaia’s side and Luis de la Fuente’s team will be held at the Limassol Stadium in Limassol and is scheduled to kick off at 5 pm UK time on Thursday.
Cyprus
Cyprus are one of the weakest footballing nations and do not tend to do much of note. They do not do well in qualifying campaigns and finish at or near the bottom of the group. Things are not different this time around.
Temur Ketsbaia’s side are at the bottom of UEFA Euro 2024 qualifying Group A at the moment and have been eliminated already. Cyprus have picked up no point from seven matches…